In Sara Barnard’s Fragile Like Us, Caddy’s friendship with her life-long best friend, Rosie, changes dramatically with the arrival of Suzanne, who’s exciting and mysterious, and clearly a little damaged. Suzanne encourages Caddy to be impulsive and reckless — but that leads to trouble, putting Rosie and Caddy at odds with each other, and with their new friend.
Barnard really captures the way friendships change as people grow older and their differences become clearer. Your best friends from childhood were often proximity based — neighbors and classmates — but as you get older, you get to choose your friends, and sometimes discover you no longer have anything in common with the people you were once closest too. Fragile Like Us is a brilliant exploration on friendship, love, and the ways in which we all struggle with what ails us. After I finished, I was eager for more stories about friendships that change and evolve. I’ve gathered some of my favorites here. Check it out, and then check out Fragile Like Us (available as an extended excerpt on Riveted until July 31st!). Let me know what some of your favorite friendship narratives are in the comments below!
Now and Then
This movie is one of my all-time favorites. It follows four best friends over two periods of time in their life — as teens over the summer of 1970, and as adult women who’ve drifted slightly in 1991. It tackles a ton of major life problems — divorce, deceased parents, first crushes — while also remaining heartwarming and fun. And it has a great message! Even when your friendships change, they don’t necessarily fade, and you can always count on friends to have your back.
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
You can’t have a friendship roundup without this classic YA series on it. Four best friends, all of different body types and shapes, are about to spend their first summer away from one another when they discover a pair of pants that somehow manages to fit them all. They decide to ship the pants to each other throughout the summer, using it as a literal way to bring them together, even far apart. As the books continue, the girls change and grow dramatically — but they always have the pants (and, of course, each other.)
Ghost World
This is one of those rare pieces of media where both the original source (a graphic novel) and the movie based on it are just fantastic. Enid and Rebecca are best friends who recently graduated high school. Both are cynical outcasts, but Rebecca is slightly more popular than Enid. After her diploma is withheld, Enid is forced to take a remedial art class. At the same time, she meets and befriends an older man named Seymour, whom she tries to set up in a relationship. Meanwhile, Rebecca is stuck working at a coffee shop, and begins taking more of an interest in clothes and boys, much to Enid’s annoyance. The two begin to drift, until events turn and cause a rift in their relationship. This is a more bittersweet entry on this list — an example of a time when people grow apart in ways that may not be entirely fixable.
Fan Girl
Cath and Wren are sisters, but they’re also best friends. They’ve done everything together, bonding particularly over their love for the Simon Snow novels, and falling deep into fandom together. Over the years, Wren’s grown away from Simon Snow, but Cath still defines herself by her fandom, unable to let go. When the two set off for college, Wren announces that she doesn’t want to room with Cath — leaving Cath somewhat adrift and outside her comfort zone. While Fangirl is about many things, the central friendship and sisterhood between Wren and Cath was a total selling point for me, and a fantastic example of the difficulties of growing up (and apart) from your closest family.
Bridesmaids
In this hilarious film, Kristen Wiig plays Annie, a woman in her mid-thirties whose life is in shambles. Her only source of happiness is her best friend Lillian, plaid by Maya Rudolph. When Lillian gets engaged, she asks Annie to be her maid of honor. But Annie is distressed to meet the other friends in Lillian’s life — particularly rich and beautiful Helen, the wife of Lillian’s fiancé’s boss. As Annie and Helen constantly try to one-up each other to prove that they’re the “better” friend, the antics begin to get in the way of the actual wedding — possibly leading to irreversible damage in Annie and Lillian’s friendship.
Dare Me
Addy and Beth are best friends with an established routine — Beth calls the shots, and Addy carries them out. This method has gotten them to the peak of their high school careers: the rulers of the intensely competitive cheer squad. But that’s thrown into disarray by the arrival of the young new coach, the cool and commanding Colette. Collette draws Addy away from Beth, who distrusts Colette’s new regime and starts to wage a subtle war against her. But things turn sour fast, culminating in a tragedy that leaves everybody with more questions than answers. More about toxic friendships than life-long ones, Dare Me is a page-turning worth getting into.
Summer Sisters
Is there anyone better at writing friendship than Judy Blume? Summer Sisters is a departure for Blume, aimed at an adult audience instead of a pre-teen on — but it still shines with Blume’s usual wit and wisdom. It follows Caitlin and Vix, two friends who spent every summer together as teenagers. As adults, Vix is shocked when Caitlin calls to say she’s marrying Vix’s first love, Bru. The book then takes us back through Vix and Caitlin’s friendship, as they face love and heartbreak, and grow apart and back together again.
Freaks and Geeks
This one-season-wonder is perhaps one of the most famous TV shows about high school friendships there is. It follows two groups of high school friends in the 80s — Lindsey Weir, who hands out with the “freaks,” and her younger brother Sam Weir, who hangs out with the “geeks.” In only eighteen episodes, series creators Paul Fieg and Judd Apatow manage to capture a genuine high school experience, particularly in the way our friend groups adapt.